If you’re starting therapy for the first time you might find yourself wondering: What is therapy actually going to be like? You may have spent some time thinking about going, postponing it, or even wondering whether your concerns are “serious enough.”

Know that therapy does not require a crisis, nor does it require having everything figured out. It is a space designed to help you better understand yourself, your patterns, and to grow. Hopefully, knowing what to expect at the outset can make the process feel more approachable, and less mysterious.

1. The First Few Sessions Are About Understanding, Not Fixing

Therapy typically begins with listening and understanding rather than focusing on immediate solutions. Early sessions usually focus on getting a clear picture of you and your life. This includes the therapist asking questions about your history, current stressors, relationships, coping strategies, and what led you to therapy now. It’s normal if these conversations feel broad at first.

2. It May Feel Both Relieving and Uncomfortable

Many people notice a sense of relief after starting therapy, simply from saying things out loud that have stayed internal for a long time. At the same time, talking about yourself in a focused way can feel unfamiliar or awkward.

Discomfort does not mean something is going wrong. In many cases, it reflects that you are paying attention to parts of your experience that have not had much space before.

3. You Do Not Need to Know What to Say

A common worry is, What if I do not know where to start? This is to be expected. Therapy is not a performance, and you are not required to arrive with a clear narrative or polished insight. Therapists are trained to help guide the conversation. Pauses, uncertainty, and even saying “I do not know” are all part of the process and often provide useful information.

4. Progress Is Often Subtle at First

Therapy rarely produces immediate, dramatic change in the beginning. Early progress often shows up quietly, such as noticing patterns more clearly, responding differently to stress, or feeling slightly less alone with your thoughts. Over time, these small shifts tend to accumulate. Therapy is less about quick fixes and more about building understanding, flexibility, self-compassion, and choice.

5. The Relationship Matters as Much as the Techniques

While different therapists use different approaches, research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship itself plays a significant role in outcomes. Feeling understood, respected, and safe enough to be honest is foundational. It is appropriate to pay attention to how you feel with your therapist. Therapy works best when there is a sense of collaboration and trust, even when the conversations are challenging.

Closing Thoughts

Starting therapy is not a sign that something is wrong with you. In many cases, it reflects self-awareness, and a willingness to engage with your life honestly and more intentionally. The early stages are about learning how therapy works, how you respond to it, and what you want from the process. If you are considering therapy for the first time, it is enough to begin with curiosity and openness. The rest tends to unfold from there.

Learn more about my therapy services

Andrew Zarate, MSW, LICSW, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social worker with over 15 years of experience supporting clients. He specializes in working with LGBTQ+, and BIPOC Adults experiencing anxiety, depression, grief, and significant life transitions. He also uses evidence-based approaches like EMDR to help address the impacts of trauma. He is committed to providing compassionate, expert care online for clients residing in Washington State, and New York State.

Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation